The Tyranny of “NO”

At this point in time, you’ve taken center stage in the theatre of your life. You might not believe it, but your destiny has willed you to be exactly where you are now. No one can walk your path on your behalf. It’s time you shatter all negative opinions about yourself that have hampered your growth and take charge of your life.

You must have heard a negative voice in your head: the one that says you aren’t good enough for anything, so you might as well stop trying. That’s the Intruder in your head. What gave the Intruder space in your life? It could be errors in self-judgment or childhood trauma that supplied it with kegs of psychological dynamite to shatter your dreams into a million tiny pieces.

Over the course of my life journey, I’ve developed a solid mechanism to defeat the Intruder and free myself from the shackles of its slavery. I discuss the mechanism in great detail in my book The Maestro Monologue: Discover Your Genius. Defeat Your Intruder. Design Your Destiny. For the sake of this piece, I’ll give you a brief outline. 

Acknowledge the Intruder’s Existence

Rather than try to push the Intruder’s thought out of your head, acknowledge that it exists. Write down what it’s saying to you in a diary. This way, you can document the Intruder’s meddling and better understand what it’s telling you.

Talk To Yourself Like A Friend

More often than not, you’re a lot harder on yourself than you’re on others. So, next time, when the Intruder creeps up in your head, try extending yourself the same courtesy you would to a dear friend. Remember, you’re important and deserve compassion.

Try Thought Stopping

Here’s an incredibly effective technique I’ve been using to keep the Intruder in check for the past few years. As soon as you hear the Intruder’s nagging voice, yell in your mind, ‘Stop!’ Then, take three deep breaths. Next, imagine you’re transported to a calm and beautiful place. Repeat if need be.

Combat Negativity With Positive Thoughts

Being kinder and gentler to yourself can have an incredibly positive effect on your life. Replace the Intruder’s negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Create uplifting statements that embody strength, confidence, and resilience.

The Bottom Line

If you want to take charge of your life, you need to keep the Intruder in check at all times. The journey is not about adding anything more to who you already are. Nothing is missing from your life. Instead, it’s about figuring out what you’re not. With the subtraction of that which isn’t you, you’ll uncover your hidden potential in life. Recently, I appeared on a podcast with a renowned life coach and motivational speaker Sandy Joy Weston M.Ed. We had a fruitful discussion on how you can get rid of the Intruder and live a meaningful and enriching life. The podcast is available on Spotify, Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram.